This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine (I won’t say his name out of respect for him) who has a controlling partner. I hope he gets help. His fiancé reads his emails, has his phone number transferred to hers now apparently, and got upset because my sister and I called him on his birthday, and told us he didn’t want anything to do with us. The friend we knew would never have been mad because of a birthday call. We’ve had a nice, respectful friendship with him for years, and often called each other on holidays or birthdays to wish each other well. It was casual and respectful. So this is disturbing. Especially since he is engaged to her. Umm…yeah, good luck with that. I can understand the communication with some friends tapering off over the course of a relationship, but to be prevented completely by a third party is ridiculous. Especially, if the friendship is healthy, harmless/non-threatening.
So, this is dedicated to you, friend, that I am truly concerned about:
We’ve all been through rough times in our lives. We might have lost a job, a relationship, our sense of well-being for whatever reason. Or, we may be going through drastic changes, such as just graduating from college, getting out of the army, getting married, etc. During these times of transition (whether good or bad) we may start to feel a little unsettled. It is human nature. But some of us have experienced or will experience having a wolf in sheep’s clothing come into our lives just at this moment. And some of us might welcome them with open arms because our self-esteem or sense of self is shakier.
Please pass this message on if you know someone who might be in this position.
The following are articles that might shed light on this. Also, I recently saw this disturbing but well-done documentary on the extreme version of a controlling person:
Dear Zachary (2008): A Letter to his Son About His Father
Controlling friend/co-worker/partner/fiancé/spouse/
http://www.helium.com/items/1334352-what-are-the-classic-signs-of-controlling-in-a-relationship
Controlling romantic relationship
http://www.homestudycredit.com/courses/contentCR/secCR16.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?9-Signs-of-a-Controlling-Relationship&id=1586705
Controlling girlfriend/fiancé/wife
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_60/84_dating_list.html
http://misc.feedfury.com/content/37484607-9-signs-that-your-girlfriend-is-too-clingy-needy-jealous-and-or-controlling-and-what-you-can-do-about-it.html
http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/relationships-with-borderline-narcissistic-personality-women/
Controlling boyfriend/fiancé/husband
http://www.catalogs.com/info/bestof/top-10-signs-of-a-controlling-boyfriend
http://www.articlealley.com/article_896709_39.html
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_some_signs_that_your_boyfriend_is_controlling